Quotes: White Collar (1x01, "Pilot")

Who can resist another plate of crime-solving with a dash of hot suits and witty dialogue? If you're a fan of Leverage, it'd be hard not to fall in love with White Collar.

I took the character test at White Collar's website and found that I'm most like Elizabeth Burke. Check it out and see if you have the makings of a conman.
**************
Season 1, Episode 1: "Pilot"
Written by: Jeff Eastin

Neal Caffrey, convicted con-man and thief, serving a four-year sentence at a maximum security prison, escapes to find his ex-girlfriend Kate. He crosses paths with the FBI agent who arrested him three years back, Peter Burke, after a dead-end at Kate's apartment. Neal makes a deal with Peter: he will help find and arrest criminals, if Peter agrees to let him be released to his custody.

Thus begins this unlikely partnership between criminal and law.

Neal: That’s the same suit you were wearing last time you arrested me.
Peter: Classics never go out of style.

Neal: You've been after the Dutchman almost as long as you are after me. I'll help you catch him.
Peter: Really? Really, how does that work? You want to be prison pen pals?

Peter: There's more to this -- more to this than some lost love. Some side-angle he's playing.
Elizabeth: So you're suggesting he escapes a maximum-security prison, knowing full well that you'd catch him, just so he could trick you into letting him out again?
Peter: It's a working theory.
Elizabeth: Yeah, keep working. Is it so hard for you to believe a man would do that for the woman he loves?

Neal: You’re upset. Sour grapes.
Peter: What was that?
Neal: Look, you tell me which rule I broke, and I will thumb it back to prison myself.
Peter: For starters, I work hard, I do my job well, and I don't have a $10 million view of Manhattan that I share with a 22-year-old art student while we sip espresso.
Neal: Why not?
Peter: Why not?! Because I'm not supposed to. The amount of work I do equals certain things in the real world. Not cappuccino in the clouds.
Neal: Look, I will find out where June buys her coffee if it's that important to you.
Peter: It's not about the coffee.
Neal: I think it is.
Peter: No, it's not. This is what gets you into trouble. This is the start of those something-for-nothing schemes that lead to the frauds that got you locked up.
Neal: I think it's some sort of Italian roast.
Peter: Get in the car!

Peter: You are way out of your league.
Neal: Oh, harmless flirting. It's like a dance.
Peter: Nah, there is no dance. You're not even on her dance card. No dancing for you.
Neal: Uhm, she digs the hat.
Peter: Uhm, she'd rather be wearing the hat.

Neal: No dance, huh?
Peter: Not for you.
Neal: I thought the FBI had a policy.
Peter: That’s the military. We don’t ask, we don’t care.

Neal: Okay, Romeo. Let’s problem-solve. What's she into?
Peter: Sexually?
Neal: No. No. Existentially. What makes her feel alive?
Peter: I'm drawing a blank.
Neal: How could you not know? When you were chasing me, you knew my shoe size, what time I woke up in the morning.
Peter: That's the job. Very different.
Neal: So, a relationship isn't work?
Peter: Oh, no, no. You don't get to lecture me on relationships. My wife didn't change her identity and flee the country to get away from me.

Peter: What am I gonna do?
Neal: Nope, no more relationship advice from this side of the car.

Mozzie: You know the worst thing about art forgery? You can't take credit for your work.

Neal: Did you really put Elizabeth under surveillance before you asked her out? Peter, I underestimated you.
Peter: You told him?
Elizabeth: He said he wanted to make sure that I wasn't seeing anybody else. Honey, I think it's cute.
Neal: I think it's adorable.
Peter: I'm putting you back in prison.

Neal: You only know the guys who get caught. You know the second-best criminals.
Peter: Then what does that say about you?
Neal: It says there’s an exception to every rule.

Neal: This is your wife's Visa bill.
Peter: Yeah, I got it all. Her e-Bay bids, video rentals, library books. Patriot Act.
Neal: So you're stalking your own wife?
Peter: Want to compare notes?
Neal: Touché.

Peter: You know, this makes me 3-0.
Neal: Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
**************
Cast: Matt Bomer as Neal Caffrey, Tim DeKay as Peter Burke, Tiffani Thiessen as Elizabeth Burke, and Willie Garson as Mozzie